Grief

Today I got bored and typed random things into the search bar and for some reason I chose to type my brothers name in and I got so many results about his death and it made me really upset and I really wanted to go visit his grave today after school but I guess I'll do that Wednesday after school I cant due to practice tomorrow, it's been a hard time on me and everyone in Cleves life. Everytime I think about that damn day we fgot that phone call and I can feel the lump in my chest and I get the feeling I can't breathe and somethings just squeezing my heart and I just become numb...out of all the bad people who do evil things they stay on this earth and the good people are the ones who die.

its been awhile

well I'm sorry that i haven't been on here Ive just been busy with stuff so i will most likely not be on here that much

Wow i forgot about this

ive never felt this way before

but it really does feel like hes trying to keep me away from Jakob. my friend and Jakob were gonna go swimming today, it rained so they decided to do it tomorrow..whats tomorrow, me and Jakob were gonna hang out and do what ever popped in our heads well not anymore hes gonna go swimming and i will be at home DOING NOTHING!!! i don't get it there's a 40% chance of rain tomorrow not Thursday there's only a slight chance of rain Thursday tomorrow and chance of rain in the morning and the afternoon, if it does rain tomorrow and they decide to go Thursday well then i am going to be a very VERY mad person!!!

Its been awhile

I haven't posted on here in a while and nothing is new with me but i painted my finger nails...PINK!!

ok so I have it!

OK!! I have a car!!! BUT it needs: engine, driver side panel, driver side mirror, auto cruise switch fixed and a new stereo and tires!! And after a couple years the plants have gotten to it. That's all it needs AND THE GOOD NEWS it already belongs to us, it's the car that Matt blew the engine up so yea it will do for now I just hope that I CAN have it, I already have the key so yay!!

okey dokey

So I know I'm not gonna get a bug anytime soon but I just want a car to drive to point A to point B and looks decent and won't break down every other week. All I want is a car! Last night I was thinking about Cleve and I couldn't help but cry because I was watching a TV show he loved and of course I started to think about how I saw his face in the clouds a couple weeks ago and then it really did hit me..he's happy up there he's not hurting anymore he's watching over us all, everyone he loved was being watched by him at that moment. I just wish he was watching us from like across the room like he would normally do and flick boogers at us or trick us by saying "do you smell something burning?" JUST so we could smell his nasty man fart.... I miss you Cleve I wish you were here, a lot of us need you...and sorry for eating your Easter candy..I can't help myself..